A bump in the road

Yesterday was a difficult day. On Sunday we came home from church to find a message on our machine from the adoption agency. A child's file had been locked for us and we needed to get in touch with them as soon as possible. We tried for a couple of hours to get through and then the words we have been waiting for for two years were spoken. "We have a child for you." I was instructed to go to the computer and her file was en route. When I received it, I asked "what do I open first?" Go straight for the photos I was told. "No not the photos," I thought. I knew I would be a goner as soon as I looked at that sweet face. Quickly I opened up a photo to confirm that yes indeed it was a girl and yes she was young...then I quickly closed it, not wanting to linger a moment longer. We were sent medical records to sort through and were told that we would need to give them our answer (and have a plan for her care) within about 20 hours. We quickly contacted a close family friend who is a physician, to have her examine this child's test results. How on earth could we have manged without her on a Sunday I don't know. Thank you so much! We went to bed that night sorting through all that had happened and tossed and turned all night; neither of us getting any rest. "God why don't we have peace about this, why aren't we rejoicing about finding our daughter, why this feeling of heaviness?" were questions that plagued me. The answer we received was "This is not your daughter. This is not the one I have chosen for you." "Then why God did I have to see her sweet face? How can we say No after we have seen her?" The face that will surely come to my mind often. "Pray for her" is the answer I got. Pray for this child with the sweet face. And so, as I wait I will remember to pray for the child with one of the sweetest faces I have seen.

We heard back from our adoption agency today and they told us we are now number 4 in the line of families waiting for a child under 24 months. So this month we have moved up a spot.

And once again...we wait.