Today my oldest daughter is 10! Amazing...where did the years go? Mackenzie is my joy, the one who still loves to cuddle with her mom. She is an amazing gift and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for her...OK, I can wait...she is growing up way to fast. She loves Jesus and those around her. She already talks about doing Missions work and telling others about God. She also talks about working in an orphanage one day...maybe that is something we can experience together one day.
I remember pretty much everything about being pregnant, and I feel very blessed to have experienced it twice. I remember the morning sickness (YUCK), being tired, my back aching, and feet swelling...but what I remember the most was the hopes and dreams I had for my unborn child. I imagined what she would look like, what she would smell like, and even how her voice would sound and my excitement grew as her due date grew closer. I wondered what she would be when she grew up, and dreamed of her future. I waited with anticipation to see the face that I had dreamed of seeing for 9 months. When she was born I sat for hours holding her and taking note of each of her physical features. I held her tiny hands and prayed I would be the mother she needed me to be. I remember it all like yesterday. I also remember being moved to tears at the thought that one day someone might hurt her feelings and that I wouldn't be there to protect her.
Now with the same anticipation, I wonder what the next 10 years will bring as God molds her into the young woman he intends her to be.
As I recall all these things, I can't help but think about Miah. I did not know in a physical way what it was like to carry her inside my body. I did not get to survey her physical feature's upon birth. But in China, there is a woman that does remember. I can only imagine she felt the same things when she was pregnant with Miah as I felt with my two pregnancies. I am sure she rubbed her belly with anticipation to see the face of this child she was carrying. I am sure she wondered what she would look like and how her voice would sound. I can't begin to imagine how she felt the day Miah was born. Did she look at this sweet baby girl and realize that she had to make a choice? Did she search for another way? Did her heartbreak? I can't imagine it any other way. I am sure she studied her little body and took note of each feature, knowing all too well that their time was limited. I can imagine that she held her tight to her chest, and tried to remember everything about her. I feel connected to this woman...the one who gave me the gift of a daughter. My heart breaks for her. However, I believe that God has called me to pray for this woman throughout the coming years as we will forever share the gift of a child.
