Tonight was Miah's Preschool Orientation. We played together in the classroom for about 30 minutes and then the parents sat in one area of the room and had a meeting while the kids played with the other teachers. Miah did great...she only came over to check on my whereabouts one time and went back to playing. Of course, the worried Adoptive Mother in me wonders if this is a sign of a healthy attachment, or lack of a good attachment....how are we ever to know for sure????
She had so much fun and it was wonderful to observe her in a classroom setting. The last few days I had been praying that there might, just maybe, be one other Asian child in her class...well, it was not to be...ALL the other kids were Caucasian. I know that the odds are not in her favor here in our town, but I was really hoping. When I left tonight I was surprised as to how much that really bothered me. Will she always be the only Asian girl in her peer group? How will she respond to this? What can we do as her family to make her not feel different than her peers? Will she feel different? All those questions we answered so confidently during the Home Study process now have a new reality to them....I wish I could answer confidently now.
Seriously mom? Are you gonna follow me around with that camera?
Making pizza
Matching Chocolates
Painting! She was so excited about this station...boo hoo...all those cute Gymboree outfits I was going to send her in...
I so identify with:
ReplyDelete"Of course, the worried Adoptive Mother in me wonders if this is a sign of a healthy attachment, or lack of a good attachment....how are we ever to know for sure????
I am always thinking and pondering the attachment piece. Often I think we are doing pretty well, but then we are still so early in the game.
I have a suggestion on:
"What can we do as her family to make her not feel different than her peers?"
...But I don't know if Drue will like my suggestion Hehehe!
Very happy for you and Miah that preschool orientation went today!
Ha Ha Joyanne! But I actually agree and that is partly why we went for #2, so she would have another sister that looks the same as her and that she can relate to as they grow up together. Especially when there are bio kids involved (4 in our case), we felt she shouldn't be the only one adopted.... just something to think about DREW.
ReplyDeleteI understand too... we are always wondering if we are doing things right and they are reacting the way they should.... it is so different and sometimes really hard.
I agree that the attachment piece is so mysterious...is it good or is it bad...I can interpret an action both ways.
ReplyDeleteShe loves you and she's happy at preschool...I think that points to her feeling secure in her attachment. :)
I will lament the cute Gymboree clothes with you! :)
I can really relate to both of those thoughts. It is a pretty non-diverse town in many ways. Do you know how many times someone has told me that, "Hmmm I think there is an adopted Chinese girl at the school nearby"? Poor kid stands out - I think. And then I remember my poor kids stand out too. Mommy guilt. :(
ReplyDelete